.::AwAkEnInG sLaP::.

hiyaz diary...

honestly, i m damn sad now... cause today i finally gotten the awakening slap... i finally noe wad it all meant le... and the truth sucks... it hurts... alot... but i can't cry... cause there's no point anymore... not sure if i can divert my energy to something else such as studies right now... but i will try my best to put things behind me and concentrate on my studies le... actually the truth had always been smacked right in front of my face but i dunno y i only realised it about 3 months later... which is now... i m juz so naive...

these few days were sorta doing research for the hospitality courses that i can take up after a levels... found a few possible routes and plans... and i m even more sure i really wanna study hospitality after these few days of surfing the net for info... so there's nothing much to do now except to work hard and fulfill my aspirations thru my own efforts... sorta inspired by the senior in my sch who came back to share with us his story on how he worked hard and achieve wad he had achieved today... so ya...

i m so scared i can't bear to let go and say goodbye... really really scared... izzit a really tough road ahead? i m scared to take the first step... i m not sure if i have the courage also... wad if i dun? feeling lost... and confused maybe? is this the end already? do i really want a full stop to this story? i m only full of questions and no answers... i think my mind know wad's the best thing to do but how do i convince my heart?

[If I cAn HaVe OnE LaSt dAy WiTh U, i WiLL tReAsUrE iT... bUt ThE pRoBLeM iS, i DuNnO hOw To SaY gOoDbYe... MeMoRiEs ArE fUnNy ThInGs... ThEy CaN mAkE u HaPpY, bUt ThInK aBoUt It, WhEn U r ReMiNdEd Of ThE hApPy MeMoRiEs, DuN u UsUaLLy FeEL sAd BeCaUsE aLL tHoSe ThInGs HaPpEnEd In ThE pAsT aNd It WiLL nEvEr HaPPeN aGaIn... It Is ThE mEmOrY iTsELf ThAt MaKeS u ReaLiSe WhAt U hAvE aLrEaDy LoSt...]