.::GrInZ::.

hiyaz diary...

here i m again... though nothing much to blog... but since i m in a good mood, y not blog... haha...

today work again... but before work... went to citylink to get yanzhu and chingz's xmas presents... got a shirt for yanzhu and a cup for chingz~ then went to pacific coffee company to write letters for the 2 of them lo...

then met dine and joyce to go to hotel... changed and had our dinner there... then gave those 2 their presents... hope they like it ba... very scared they dun like then throw aside... >_<>

meeting chingz tml noon for coffee... looking forward to it ba~ can sit down and slack... ^_^ shall go and watch tv now le~ bubbye!

[StiLL wAnnA sAy ThAnKs FoR aLLoWiNg Me To HaVe A bIt Of DiGnItY LeFt... ^_^]

.::GooD dAy::.

hiyaz diary...

today had a good day ba~ met chingz at bugis to pei her buy shoes... then mindy came along... then we went to eat gelato ice cream... nice sia~ then went arcade play with them... had alot of fun~

then went to city hall meet dine and joyce... pei dine looked for a bag... then we went work... then today juz nice all of us working together at the same ballroom so yeahz... then had dinner at the staff canteen before going to work... today's food is nice... or at least i think so~ haha... then went to work lo... today the manager good mood... so wasn't too bad ba...

then me got 2 tables... but heng one table nv turn up at all... then in the end i left with one table... then when i served 2nd course, the captain told me to be drinks server... so drinks server i m! quite an easy job but hands will ache from holding the jug... lolz... then today time passed very fast... by 1030 dinner already ended le~ and it felt like "i thot dinner juz started?" haha... then i juz helped to clear table and the side station... then can go home le~ yay... happy, fast and good day at work... lolz... was in a good mood today ba... whole dinner smiling at the guests... -_- sounds crazy over here but yeahz...

well... hopefully from now on, i can stop thinking abt rubbish things and juz concentrate on my studies~ ^_^ now, i felt so relieved that finally everything is out ba... i dunno how to make ppl understand my feelings but i guess it's alright... actually, it may be signifying an end to everything and a new start for me~ finally~ haha... juz realised i wrote crap... ah nvm~ juz hope someone will be able to understand... ^_^

go le~ bubbye~

[HmMm... I kNoW u R bEiNg NiCe In A rEsPoNsIbLe WaY... ^_^ wHiCh JuZ mAdE mE LoVeS u MoRe~]

.::I dId It!!!::.

hiyaz diary...

today woken up by the phone... yuan lai my sis took leave today... so she asked me out for lunch... then i bathe lo... then weile ask me zap some worksheets for him, johnson and kevin... so i went to the shopping centre opposite my house to zap for them... but the machine like spoil... only zap half page de... lolz... so no choice... i go my old house boon keng there to zap... cost me $12 and also 15 mins of my time... lolz~ then went to bus stop meet my sis... then we took bus to millenia walk... then we chatted on the bus... i love my sis to bits! then we went sushi tei at millenia walk to eat... the sushi there is nice... the sticky rice tastes nicer... =)

then sis and me walked to suntec... went shopping... we went to fila... then saw this jacket nice and bought it~ happy! but means my pay gone also~ lolz... then we continue walk walk lo... then met kev at G2000 pass him notes... then said bye to my sis and went to the cinema to look for johnson and weile... we bought tickets... watched ocean's 12... like shit... dunno wad it is talking about throughout the show... dunno is because i nv watched ocean's 11 or because i dunno how to appreciate... after the movie, we 3 juz stared at the screen and laugh... haha... then i realise those 2 guys dun understand the show also... lolz... then we went arcade to play... ^_^

then we met benson and we went cartel for dinner... then we talk rubbish and ate our dinner~ then until 9 lidat lo... then johnson left to meet his frens... benson and weile went to the sports shops at suntec to see see~ then went to the koi garden to feed the kois... then walked to citylink with them...

then i went off to meet my les partner chingz at pacific coffee company... =) really les with her le lolz... one day never see also cannot... so late le but we still arranged to meet... then sat there until 1040... hehe... and the sweet darling bought me this precious moments calendar that's so beautiful! i loved it! thanks chingz!

and at the coffee joint, i suddenly decided i wanted to tell him how i feel about him... and i finally told him ba... was scared and whiny about it at first~ but chingz gave me support and encouragement lo... haha... so relieved when i finally told him... ^_^ then my phone of all times had to go low batt at this time! haha... stupid sia... but anyway, it's late le... so went home lo... then charged my phone and on it back... and he replied me! hehe... he made me a happy and relieved gal~ now feel like big rock gone from my heart~ finally can get a good sleep tonight ba... ^_^

then watched tv... and now chatting with chingz dine mindy and johnson as well as blogging... think shall go le... tml still got work and meeting chingz at bugis to look for shoes before work~ =) oh ya... bought a bag with chingz on sunday... was damn happy about it... cause looking for a bag for quite some time le ba... haha... go le~ nitey~

[ThAnKs ThAnKs ThAnKs! I dUnNo HoW i CaN tHaNk U eNoUgH!!! =)]

.::BiG bIg WoRLd::.

I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
miss you much...

I can see the first leaf falling
it's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
like the way I'm feeling inside

I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
miss you much...

Outside it's now raining
and tears are falling from my eyes
why did it have to happen
why did it all have to end

I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
miss you much...

I have your arms around me ooooh like fire
but when I open my eyes
you're gone...

I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
miss you much...

I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
miss you much...

[I mUsT LeArN tO bE bRaVe FoR yOu... CaUsE u GaVe Me ThE sTrEnGtH tO cArRy On...]

.::SuIcIdAL::.

hiyaz diary...

ever since the chalet, i have been having this attitude problem with everyone and even myself... haiz... i do not really about care about people's feelings anymore... i dun care if i m being mean or whatever... i juz wanna be bad and mean and alone... sighz... i dun wan to be lidat... i dun wan... but i can't help it...

after the chalet, i m supposed to work... i dunno wad i m thinking but i keep screwing up the whole night... people talk to me i m stoning and dun even noe they are talking to me... i poured the wrong drinks into the wrong glasses... everytime somebody talks, i keep thinking it's him... and then i will realise it's not him talking... argh~ i almost went crazy that day... everyone i see, i feel like they looks like him... oh god...

monday supposed to work also but i noe i didnt really have the mood so i juz found a replacement... and stoned at home... my heart was aching... i dunno how is that possible but it really hurts... cried for an hour in the shower... then began having suicidal thoughts... thinking of how good it would be if i can juz cut myself and let the pain in my heart subside... juz focus on the pain on my hand... but, i know it's wrong... i m already a lucky and blessed enough girl and i dun need those crap to make myself feel better... sighz...

shan't say much le ba... bubbye...

[I cAn'T bLaMe U fOr NoT bEiNg AbLe To FoRgEt HeR JuZ LiKe U cAn'T bLaMe Me FoR nOt BeInG aBLe To GeT oVeR yOu...]

.::CLaSs ChALeT::.

hiyaz diary...

went for the class chalet at costa sands east coast... the normal 3 days 2 nights lo...

first day... met up with weile at kovan ba... then went to his house to get the things he had bought... then we took cab to parkway to meet the rest... then we went to giant supermarket to buy the remaining stuff we haven bought... then bought pacific coffee company ice blended mocha... it's nice but starbucks still win~ lolz... since we got 8 ppl and so many things to carry, we juz took 2 cabs in to east coast park... then checked in... then slack in the room... playing ps2 and mahjong... then after that had barbeque... some of our teachers came also... then chatting together lo... after that 11 plus rained... so we went back to chalet le... again played mahjong and ps2... went to the beach and play water though it's kinda dark... then 1 plus we went out cycling... weile attempted to teach me how to cycle but in the end failed... lolz... i m a dumb student la cannot blame... =P first night nv do much also...

then morning came... 6 plus... all of us tired le... so we squeeze here and there on the bed to find a position to sleep... then again played mahjong and ps2 lo... and we wasted our whole morning and half the afternoon by staying inside the chalet playing mahjong and ps2... then 3 plus... decided to get out and do something else... lolz... dine and me were playing at the pond and dine caught a turtle... then all of us walked to tao nan school there de basketball courts to play basketball together... then right opposite the courts is marine parade library... went to the starbucks there to get my mocha frap~ heavenly! =) then dine and me saw a fitness corner not far from the bball courts and we went over to play... there's this horizontal bar and we juz flipped over it continuously and hanged there upside down for quite some time... used to do that in primary school alot... ^_^ now got chance to do it again, so i had a lot of fun with dine... then kev, johnson and weile came over to join us at the fitness corner... we taught johnson how to flip... lolz... after that we walked back to the chalet to bathe... by that time about 7 plus le... then bathe and we went out to have our dinner... but due to delays and the long walk, we only reached the eating place at about 9 plus... lolz... dunno is supper or dinner... we went to this east coast lagoon food centre which is near the bedok jetty and at the far end of east coast park to eat... it is very big there and the food there is quite nice... even the surroundings are nice... ^_^ had alot of food... satay, wanton mee, stingray, fried rice, beef horfun, hokkien prawn noodles, char kway teow... we juz shared here and there lo... finished eating at about close to 11 o clock and i drank so much sugarcane juice that i feel bloated all the way while walking back to the chalet... the walk back was quite nice... we juz walked past the quiet quiet places and talking about the movie shutter... lolz... went back chalet... guess what... we played ps2 and mahjong again... haha... then 2 plus... some of us lied down on the bed le... the second night only left 8 of us and there are 4 beds so everybody gets to have a place to sleep!!!

then we already switched off the lights le... then suddenly kevin decided that he doesn't want to sleep and began laming around... he became cranky and all of us except johnson and kang wei also got influenced by him and nv sleep... juz talk and do lame things... we keep trying not to let kang wei and johnson sleep but then ultimately, we gave up... lolz... we let them sleep... and kevin is still laming after an hour when on the first night, he's the one who's the first to go to bed... finally 4 plus, he became tired also and went to sleep which means the rest of us can sleep also... haha... then stupid yanzhu slept beside me and he kept kicking me... argh~ then dunno wad time i wake up after he kicked me again and i pek cek until cannot get back to sleep... lolz... then kev woke up also... then we heard yanzhu making weird sound... lolz... realised yanzhu grinds his teeth when he is sleeping... kevin still thot aircon spoilt and that's why got weird sound... haha... then we 2 went back to sleep again... keep on drifting in and out of sleep... woke up at 10 in the morning... then kev asked me if he did woke up and find me awake and hearing yz making that sound or izzit just a dream... haha... guess when u sleep, u forget wad happened sometimes... by right we supposed to check out by 1030... but then all of us lazy... though woke up and brush teeth le, we still sit on the bed and all talk together... some of us went back to sleep again... lolz... then 1130 lidat the cleaning auntie came to our room to clean up so we no choice but to leave lo...

and me and dine shared a cab home... so that's how the chalet went... it was not very fun i shall say as we didnt really do alot of things... but then it's a form of relaxation ba... can juz be without worries even though it's juz for a few days... yep... go le~ bubbye...

[WhAt ShaLL i Do? I m FaLLiNg In DeEpEr EaCh DaY... tHe mOrE i SeE u, ThE mOrE i M aWaRe Of ThE dIsTaNcE bEtWeEn Us... WhY m I fEeLiNg ThE pAiN nOw?]

.::WoRk::.

hiyaz diary...

long time never blog le cause busy working... hardly even have enough time to sleep much less blog... hehe... so working at marina mandarin now with benson, dine, joyce, yanzhu and chingz! haha... out of the previous hotels i worked before, i like this hotel the best! it's much easier here and the colleagues, captains and managers here are so much much more friendly than the previous hotels... i have learned a lot of things here... hehe... and i look forward to working everyday... lolz... like a bit psychotic la... looks forward to working... but got $$$ i wouldn't mind! =)

then this hotel got a pool garden where they actually hold functions sometimes... i worked there once and it's such a nice place!!! windy and nice night view! can see suntec city and conrad in a different perspective... =) i m a happy gal now... ^_^ this year is going to over soon le... hopefully next year will be a fruitful one! =)

go watch tv le... bubbye~

[DoN't YoU rEaLiSe YoUr HaPpInEsS iS wHaT mAtTeRs To Me NoW? caLL mE sTuPId BuT tHaT's HoW mUcH yOu MeAnT tO mE...]

.::HaPPy BiRtHdAy To Me::.

hiyaz diary...

today's such a happy day!!! well... morning woke up by messages... and wanna thanks those who messaged me especially those who messaged me at 12am... lolz... thanks chingz and joyce most importantly! =) okiez...

so was like meeting dine and joyce at plaza sing at 1230 de... then who noes 1130 joyce called me... said smth like : u ready yet? can u come down? i m at ur house downstairs... then i was like huh? wad? haha can't believe my ears... so went down... then the sweet darling bought me this oreo cheesecake from starbucks and specially brought it to my house for me... then she gave me my present and then we set off for orchard to meet dine... reached ps on time... then met dine... went shopping... then she got her things quite fast... so we had quite some time to spare... so we went cine to watch movie... bridget jones diary... it was a sweet and romantic show la... =) okiez... then we took train to tampines lo... cause jenny told me to go tampines small mac wait for her at 6 pm to have dinner with her...

then pei joyce go food court buy dinner for her mom... and those 2 girls then said they have to go le and said bye to me... and then i went to small mac wait lo... haha... and then i saw johnson walking very fast past me... dun think he saw me so i called him la... then he turned... asked him where he going he said mrt... then i asked... oh for wad? then he stupidly tell me oh meet kevin at mrt then meet jenny then meet u lo... lolz... and i realise they r in this together... lolz... but he say i m not supposed to noe so he juz went to the mrt while i continue to wait for jenny... haha then jenny came and i told him i saw johnson le and he told me everything le... jenny then gave me a present she and joanne bought for me... a bracelet from perlini's silver... i like it... at this point of time, i still thot is only me jenny johnson and kevin only... who knows... jenny bring me to tm's fish and co... then say table for 10... oh my god! 10!??? then jenny still refused to tell me got who else... and then the other 8 including kevin and johnson finally came... and joyce and dine was with them also~ -_- haha tio stunned... those 2 girls r such good actresses! kept it from me the whole noon when they knew it all along! oh manz... i was so surprised... haha... there were kevin, johnson,weile, benson, yanzhu, kang wei, joyce and geraldine... then one by one they wished me happy birthday... but too bad joyce and dine nv joined us for dinner la as they had to go home... so only the 6 guys, jenny and me! well... then eat lo... food not too bad la... =) then, the guys gave me a gift after the dinner... was a black tee... heard that they got it together juz b4 they came for dinner... haha... apparently, i was told the design was chosen by dine and joyce and the colour by all of them except weile who voted for brown... lolz appreciated it alot... ^_^ and then they took out a cake... and the cake was super funny... a orange chiffon cake... oh manz... then they put candles on it... then sang me birthday song... lolz... so embarrassed but happy of coz...

after that they asked me where to go... so i suggested go play pool lo... at first i dun intend to play de cause i dunno how to and i nv play before... but then in the end they tell me to anyhow hit also can so i just play lo... first game me and jenny played against kevin and johnson... haha... we almost won but they got the black ball in first... so tough luck there... then me and jenny played ourselves... then we played with weile and johnson... this time they won us hands down... haha... then me and jenny played ourselves again lolz... then 10 plus we left le... the guys told me and jenny dun need pay for the pool~ haha... so we accepted their offer... =P then we sit outside the pavilion stairs to talk talk~ ^_^ and we saw a girl sitting some bench in front of us with her back towards us... think her jeans is kinda low cut so we sorta saw her ermmm backside... =x er xin lo... lolz... we laughed like mad... then stupid weile keep teasing kevin... keep asking him to send me home cause it's late... and all the other guys like dunno y decided to follow weile and keep teasing the both of us... wished i had a hole to hide... oh manz... so in the end most of them took bus at the interchange while only me, yanzhu and kev took the MRT... yanzhu going to bedok so different train as us... bahz... and stupid yanzhu keep pushing me and kevin together -_- *aRgH* then on the train back to pasir ris, so embarrassed worz... dunno wad to say to kevin... especially after all the teasing... heng he started conversation for most of the time... there were short moments of silence which were so embarrassing!!! argh~ then we went our separate ways at pasir ris ba... then took cab home...

reached home le... my sister-in-law bought a cake for me and my family sang me a birthay song and cut cake lo... all in all, i had a memorable day ba... this is probably one of my happiest birthday for my 17 years le... cause seldom celebrate with so many people de... normally only my close friends... and also for the last few days i was still hoping to have a meal together with my classmates for my birthday and it really happened for me... i dunno how many thank yous i told my classmates especially to jenny and joyce... lolz... i m beoming naggy~ but i was so touched by the things they had done for me especially jenny for organising this thingy... so anyway... it's late now... think i better go prepare for sleep le~ tml first day of work le... hehe... hope i wun screw up... well, nitey~

[It'S jUsT LiKe A dReAm CoMe TrUe... A dReAm WhIcH cOnSiStS oF mE aNd YoU... HoW cAn I eVeR sAy It EnOuGh? My FeeLiNgS fOr U gReW wItH eAcH dAy... I LoVe YoU...]