hiyaz diary...
at the risk of sounding bimbotic, here goes...
i saw this pair of slip-ons at pazzion... it's unique but pricey...
BUT (the big but) i just bought sandals last weekend, the NUM flip flops 3 weeks ago and sis bought me wedges the month before... and not to forget, i still have 2 pairs of shoes i bought from hong kong 3 months ago... =p plus the one i'm constantly wearing and the pair that's lying in my hostel's shoe rack... haha...
if i buy some more shoes, my mum might just kill me! =p
but they are so pretty!
is there such a thing as santa in this world?
lolz... bimbotic ba? =p
nitey!
hiyaz diary...
the long weekend will be over in 1 hour plus more... hehe...
had a good holiday basically...
went to suntec on sat with dearie... bought my neckermann sandals finally... happy =)
then we went outram meet his parents for awhile before heading to orchard far east and heeren... had our dinner at far east plaza... zi char basically... got frog leg, hotplate tofu and fu yong egg... nice nice! really had not been visiting western restaurant lately after the swensens incident... =x chinese food is good enough for me right now... =p
sunday went bugis for awhile to get some cds and headed to my hostel together... had dinner, slacked before he booked in... simple but good enough for me... sometimes, i rather we just slack and do nothing... watch the world pass by without worries... haha... wouldn't it be nice... =)
mon school as usual... IT lesson was damn funny with wq and zy... i swear we keep on laming from the lesson itself till we reached jurong point... i laughed till i almost cried...
then met dearie at jp before heading for dinner at block 85... food there is superb as always... =)
today is public holiday! =) we agreed on sunday to go shopping at bugis today as we didn't really had the shopping mood on sunday and so postponed it to today!
shopping at bugis rocks! so many many pretty things... bought a top, a skirt and earrings! saw a pair of flats that's quite unique at pazzion but is a bit pricey... so guess i will give it more thought first... haha...
had dinner at mos burger after that and it's the end of a day... =) i love mos burger!
nitey all~
hiyaz diary...
random thoughts are flooding my mind, had to find a place to "pen" it down... dun ask me why i got so many random thoughts especially on friday nights, i dunno too... =x
in uni, i think there's too much people... so much so that i felt like i dunno who i am anymore... felt as if i had lost my identity or maybe i didn't even had one in the first place... no one will really bother to know about u... no one knows who u really are...
i had always been one who likes to fade into the background... whether is it in sec sch, jc or uni... izzit my character/personality or izzit just that i am overshadowed?
maybe i had not done enough or maybe i didn't take the first step out... i did try... i really did... but somehow, i was denied the chance... tuition seemed to be tying me down... i really dunno why everything seems to clash with my tuition... i really regret for missing the o camp because of tuition...
that day, my only remaining tuition kid made me so mad!!! whatever work i gave her do, she shakes her head... gave me the grumpy face and making irritating grumbling noises... i tried to pacify her by giving her simpler work to do first then proceed to harder ones... but she dun even wanna do the simple ones... asked her what she's unhappy about she also dun wanna say... just sit there and waste my time... sometimes she will start crying when i nv even scolded her before cause i dun believe in scolding them...
THIS IS NOT THE 1ST TIME ALREADY!!! it's such a waste of my time can! especially when i sacrificed other things for tuition and it's not a productive tuition at all!!!
last time, the problem i had is them not doing their homework ALL THE TIME when i already gave very very little homework when they kept complaining they had a lot of school work and no time...
honestly, sometimes, these kids dun even want to help themselves, i really wonder why i am "wasting" my time lidat and not doing things i should have done without all these tuition... WHY?
but it's all too late now for regrets... too too late
i think i am starting to portray an image of anti-social to 2 particular person... how ah... although i dun even know them well and so i shouldn't care too much what they think about me... somehow, i know our paths dun cross and we will never get to be good friends... but still, i dunno why it bothers me so much...
haha suddenly i think i am ranting all this because i am lonely... the rude awakenment...
i admit i had been feeling that ever since uni started in august... it was evident to me in the first few weeks of school but slowly, i learnt to suppress it and not to acknowledge it... but on a night like this, it just dawned on me again unexpectedly... i really miss my bestie and my sec sch + jc friends alot alot...
listening to this song iris now... there's 2 parts that goes "just want you to know who i am" & "you bleed just to know you are alive"
for those who watched world trade centre, one of the stuck man said pain is good, pain is ur friend cause it means u are alive...
how true ya... but isn't it kinda sad that u only knew u exist and that u are still breathing when u felt pain... i guess that's one of the reason why people will become victims of cutting, eating problems and stuff lidat...
shan't say much anymore, it's getting rather heavy as compared to the previous light-hearted entry... haa... nitey...
hiyaz diary...
had lessons today as usual! quite a busy day! tutorial followed by lunch and then project discussion meeting and then lect... never skipped it for once hehe... i must change over a new leaf and work hard for the remaining 4 weeks of the sem!
my tutorial mates gave me so much laughs during lunch and we took some photos in the library... shall upload them when i got the phone usb cable... =)
project meeting was productive... hee...
after lect, went on a cca trip to waraku jap restaurant at marina square with yp and yl... learned very basic jap table manners... quite interesting i shall say! it was rather brief and short though...
and the best part is next which is of course our jap dinner!!!
the meal is damn damn nice! =) there were about 20 of us in this room and we sat on tatami mats and all that... very cozy environment!
everyone will have one set of meal and it consists of rice, pickles, tempura and paper claypot soup!
tempura have prawn, pumpkin, brinjal and seaweed! so nice can!!! it's like the nicest tempura i had ever tasted!
the paper claypot soup has so much ingredients as well! it's clear soup base with SUPER tender codfish, scallops, prawns, 2 types of mushrooms and veggie...
the unique part is instead of a porcelain claypot or something solid, the soup is carried in a paper bowl! we asked the manager why the paper doesn't burn under the fire as there's solid fuel still burning underneath it... learnt that they made it specially in japan and added a special layer of something to the bottom of the paper so that it will not leak the soup out or burn a hole in the paper... so cool huh!
the whole meal is very filling! all of us felt so full after eating...
after that we 3 went back home straight together since we live near each other although there's a bus back to ntu catered la... but doesn't make sense to go back home from boon lay when we can go back from city hall...
we are 3 happy girls after a good meal! =)
i got take some photos of the food and stuff... again, will post when i upload it into comp...
okiez, got to go! looking forward to tomorrow, not the lesson part cause it's my most dreaded subject's seminar tomorrow but the specialisation talk before lesson and dinner plans with friends after lesson! can't wait can't wait! =)
nitey all...
hiyaz diary...
start of another week again... not much monday blues today... haha...
had lesson as usual... then went jp to get some necessities and biscuits for my room... did some shopping too cause i got too much time to kill...
had durian ice cream first cause i am hungry! the durian ice cream is power manz! feels like eating real durian and it's damn smooth... wootz!
i saw so many pretty things at jp!
i saw this pair of neckermann sandals at noda that i am so tempted to buy! saw it last time with mama while out shopping but that time only got red and red is not exactly my favourite colour... still grumbling to mum why dun have black or white... and today i saw it! in both black and white somemore! but i got problem choosing between the 2 so i decided to bear with it and wait till the weekend and get more opinions from more people! so shopping this weekend anyone?
then i went to precious moments... there's this forever friends passport holder that's so adorable!!! i have a passport holder now but it's a bit spoilt already as it is falling out... wanted to get it for dearie cause he just renewed his passport and it looks so plain! but i think it is too girlie for a guy to use... =x still considering whether to get it for myself anotz...
there's also this precious moments key chain that's perfect for my hostel keys hee... but i never buy anything in the end!
oh well... went back hall after that around 6 and saw a hall mate on the bus... chatted awhile about our roommates and how we adapt to each other...
had dinner in my room after that alone =( sometimes, i really regret why never go hall orientation camp and make more friends... then maybe, i won't be feeling the way i am now...
maybe in the first place, i had too much expectations about uni life... so now that i can't achieve it, i felt really disappointed... i must mingle around more and make more friends!
so tempted to call mum before dinner to tell her i missed her but i think she will probably think i am crazy or something so i never... BUT BUT BUT, in the midst of eating, i actually received a call from her! so happy =) she normally wun call me at such a time de, so i think we got telepathy! afterall, i was in her belly for 9 months haha~ =)
cheered up after that and after dinner, i really felt very bored so i went to the lounge room for once and watched tv alone there... there are other people la but i dunno them so considered alone ba... it's not as bad as i think it would be... came back up to my room and here i am blogging...
now that all the tuitions are mostly over and i dun need rush here and there anymore, i got more time in hall... but honestly, i dunno what to do with so much time also... of course there's homework to be done la but still will get sianz of it ah at one point in time... so is the tuition really a blessing in disguise or what? i dunno~ guess i am a typical human being, got tuition complain busy no time now no tuition complain too much time... lolz~
okiez, 9pm is coming... i am sorta in the mood for homework le... haha... off i go! bubbye all~
hiyaz diary...
just some photos from last week...
at timbre bar, the drinks and garlic bread
outside my house around early evening 5 plus, i dunno that's the sun or moon, just very fascinated by it...
the 6 souffle balls me and wq finished off at crystal jade... =x
oh wells, it's the weekend again...
[WARNING: dun read further if u dun like reading nonsensical stuff]
we had good times once ya? but now everything seems to have changed... izzit me or izzit u?
dunno what i am getting mad at u for every week? is it at u, at me, at the event or just everything?
angry at u for leaving me just lidat?
angry at myself for being not good enough? for not having an interesting life enough so i can be independent... u always seemed to be busy with so many plans... while i seemed like a no lifer... and that made me felt so lonely... cause it seems like everyone is enjoying life while i dunno what i am doing with mine... i just felt so inferior... i am so afraid of being an embarrassment to u... u dun ever knew this do u?
i know u need ur personal space... not trying to controlling u or what... u can do whatever u want with whoever u want and wherever it is... all i want is just the truth earlier? so i dun need to feel left out in the middle of nowhere... boredom and loneliness gets to me everytime...
i realized it's hard for u to balance everything... ur friends and me... i wished i can help u, but it's beyond me... am i expecting too much from u? maybe i should be more understanding towards u on this ya...
am i pressurizing u too much by always mentioning those 2 words? i didn't meant to... maybe i am selfish, but saying that is just one way to help me deal with all this more easily... i said it hoping it will help the sadness and heartaches to go away... saying it hoping that u will reassure me that we will be fine... it seemed like the easier way out though not the best... but i can truly say i never once meant it... i know it's too late, i already hurt u with my words... aren't we all lidat? asking for forgiveness only when we had done smth wrong and regretting it... but the harm is already being done...
it's just so tiring for the same thing to happen every week... i am even starting to wonder why am i making such a nuisance of myself in front of u and for everybody...
u can't imagine the hurt i felt so dun say sorry cause what i want is not that...
partly it's my fault cause who ask me to be so stubborn right and can't let go of the past... but i can only say it's easy to forgive but not easy to forget... u can't undo something just lidat... i am not that type of person that forgets easily, sad to say...
as time goes by, i felt more and more distant from u... this shouldn't be the case isn't it? i dun want things to end up lidat... i dun want... but i am really at a loss on what to do to salvage the whole thing...
it's ironic that we seldom quarrel in the past and yet something so minor can flip our world upside down... i think this is the part that i am most unwilling to acknowledge... hao3 bu4 gan1 yuan4...
can't emphasize enough what i want is not u having to stop doing what u like because of me... all i want is just honesty... and i believed yesterday was perfectly fine... just that today everything went wrong again... i am not trying to control u or what but rather i just hope for a bit of respect and ur sensitive-ness to my feelings...
too tired to continue typing... it's like 4 plus in the morning already... think stop here ba...
just wished things can go back to how it was originally... simple and happy... please dun give up on me hao ma..?
nitey...
hiyaz diary...
quite some time never update... been busy!
talk about last weekend first...
sat went to watch world trade centre at vivocity with dearie... nice show manz! kinda touching at the end... heard a lot of people crying...
then is dinner with his parents at outram and we went orchard after that...
wanted to buy a pair of heels at heeren one which i saw last week but when i went in the shop i saw an auntie trying the exact heels on and somemore same colour as the one i like... felt a bit sianz diao and dearie laughed at me for having the same taste as an auntie... =x fine i am old fashioned can! so never buy it in the end...
he brought me to this bar near smu... the atmosphere there rather nice but we did not stay there for long to totally soak it up...
sun went for a few tuition as papers are on monday and then dinner with dearie before heading back to hall...
mon sch as usual and went back home for my very last tuition for the PSLE kids... felt so relieved after that... i survived through it! =) now only left with 1 student only till nov... time to take a break! so in a rather good mood after that...
went back home after the last tuition for dinner and watched tv for 3 hours straight hehe... i was so tempted not to go back to hall but tuesday have early lessons, if dun go back on mon night, i will have to wake up 5 plus the next morning -_-~ and i realised how MUCH i missed my home... =( i think the grass is always greener on the other side ba...
still remembered that time kinda looking forward to hostel life but now that i got it, i think home is still the best place to be! sighz~
mama papa been treating me real nice ever since i moved also... everytime i go back, they will offer me endless food, soup and fruits... keep insisting i eat more... not that last time they not nice to me la, but jiu feel even more pampered now... =) thankful for them...
tues night went out with chingz darling after my lesson... we went to tamp... had ajisen and then we watched you, me and dupree at around 9 plus... watched till near midnight and then went home after that... i so long never watch movie with her le! thanks darling for the day! =)
today is wed... had lesson and skipped hrm lect as usual... it's so unappealing to me!
met yp for lunch before lesson... da bao-ed subway in and ate together... then headed off for seminar... catch no ball as usual!
went back to hall after lesson to unload stuff cause my bag kinda heavy! then met up with wq and we went to jp for dinner at crystal jade... it's quite funny cause we ordered 2 plates of the same dessert... in the picture, the balls look rather small so we ordered one plate each whereby every plate got 3 balls... then 3 different people keep confirming with us whether we really want 2 plates anotz and keep emphasizing there's 3 balls on every plate...
when it came, it's bigger than what i usually get at other crystal jade branches... haha... finally understood why those 3 people reacted in that way... hehe...
but they underestimated us! we finished all 6 of them in the end though we did felt very full after that... =x
went to mos burger after that to bo biz law tutorial... after an hour plus, we still didn't managed to complete it! felt so tired! went back hall after that and here i am now...
will post some photos when i get back home tomorrow cause i tried to load just now and the school's network is so slow can so i gave up!
actually been feeling moody the whole day la but being with my school mates cheered me up...
but now back in hall again alone(roommate went off elsewhere to stay tonight), something happened just now and left me feeling rather down again... RAR~
i felt stupid that's all i can say... *sHrUgZ*
i dun understand how everything can be ruined in just a matter of weeks, or rather days...
dun understand how something so minor can come between us and totally changed my perspective...
nowadays, i am even beginning to think i am a nuisance myself... blog happily at the start only to end the post with a sad tone... but i dunno where else to say it out too...
off i go le~ nitey!
hiyaz diary...
photos!
the u.r.s wedges
at swensens marina square
baby kylie learning how to flip over
baby kylie with her new float and i look sleepy cause i just woke up
on the empty bus
baby kylie
sentosa outing last sunday~
cycling
waiting for tram
on the tram
swimming
the idiot
during the skyride
our new flip flops, it looks corny i know =x
helmets for the sentosa luge ride
still got quite some photos but i am lazy le... weekend coming again~
some random thoughts in every para, sorry for the randomness
booked tickets for the first movie screening at the GVmax cinema at vivocity tml! dunno why i am sorta excited about it in the afternoon cause it's the first screening... suaku me! but now i m not so excited anymore thanks to the night's happenings
the haze outside is quite bad now... so blur and i can practically smell it! covers up the pretty moon on mid autumn day... what a pity!
i sorta hate fridays now... it always leaves a bad taste in my mouth if u know what i mean
what else, oh yeah, currently watching the korean drama that's showing on channel u next monday... it's quite funny... the female lead is pretty
i am having the last few tuitions within this week for my PSLE kids... i felt so relieved to know i can dun need rush around for tuition anymore after this week as i will be only left with 1 student! these past 2 months had been hellish with so many students and no one can understand, not even those people that i wished they could understand like my mum... but it's ok, i survived through it in one piece... and u can say it's my fault for chewing off more than i can bite and so i shouldn't complain... but if u dunno anything, then dun come judge me
now's the time to pick up the pieces and buck up for my studies!
sometimes, i wish i can let it go but i can't... i know if i do, i will kick myself in the future for doing so...
stupidly, i sacrificed some things but i realized that what u do for people doesn't mean they will do the same for u too... yet even more stupidly, i allowed it to happen time after time... i just keep getting pissed and upset everytime it happened, it's tiring u know? no u wouldn't know cause u r not the one getting upset... sick of hearing the apologies, sad to say, they are worth nothing to me now
i am sorry to those people whom i lied to before cause now i realised how bad it feels to be betrayed and lied to... guess this is what they call karma, what goes around comes around...
i dunno what i want out from my relationship also, i still love u just that things had changed already... i think u know what i am talking about too dun u? i dun mean it as a negative thing since it can be viewed positively also just that sometimes, it's saddening...
it's mid-autumn festival and here i am thinking about mundane stuffs
i must go for lectures next week onwards except HR maybe =x
uni life isn't all rosy like what i think it is, feeling incredibly lonely and i miss my frens and family... u dun even have time to get to know who people really are anymore, who's true and who isn't...
i still didn't get to eat my pure durian flesh mooncake this year... have to wait another year...
okiez la, all these randomness doesn't making sense, dun bother making sense out of it
nitey[edit: just realised this entry sounds a bit hostile, readers dun take it to heart ya, i am just saying in general]
hiyaz diary...
went to sentosa today with dearie... so hard to wake up in the morning cause slept quite late the night before...
had brunch at the hawker centre...
took the bus in... it's our first time going there together as normally we go with different groups of people
we cycled, swam, slacked, sat in the water(the sand is so soft and nice!), crossed a bridge, went on the sky ride, went on the luge(sorta like go-kart) and dunno what else... was so tired after everything and on the way back! took lots of photos but again no cable... when i have time, i will upload them!
went to his house after that in the late evening and slacked awhile till 7 plus before heading home...
we went celebrate papa's belated birthday and went to eat at this zi char place... the food is so good! got order crabs and it was yummy!!! sweet and succulent... hehe...
and i better start studying now... i got a test tml and i haven even reached halfway of my notes... lolz... i am so lazy!!!
nitey~
[HaPpY 9 mOnThS =)]
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