.::WhEe::.

hiyaz diary...

long time no update... lazy la... nothing much happened also... except recently, took a liking to meeting chingz darling everyday... haha~ we practically meet up everyday since last wed until now... and we r still planning on meeting everyday for the rest of this week... lolz... sometimes meet to study, sometimes to eat and sometimes juz to stone... haha... we went to tm's bk and mos burger so often i think the people there can recognise us le... i also paiseh to go back so today we changed meeting place to pasir ris mac... the mac good ah... not much people one... lolz...

okiez... juz now went to punggol plaza with mummy ba... bought my favourite bread and mocha milk~ haha then we walk walk and went to eat ice cream... eat as we walk home... then along the way we sat down at the void deck and we talked about my papa and mama young that time dating de things... quite funny ah... realised my people were teenagers before also... hehe~ then talked about other things... then go home le... seldom talked to mummy lidat ba... so ya, enjoyable... =)

now slacking... today taking a rest cause the last 2 days got so many tests... so studied and studied and studied... (okiez, actually i spent more time slacking~) hence, i m now using that as an excuse to slack! well... actually, i got some things that i wanna blog abt ba... but then now that i m actually typing this out, i dun feel like it anymore~ cause i dun even noe where to start... haha? okiez... time to go slack and do other things... bubbye...

[A sMiLe So SwEeT aNd SiNcErE... iT jUz MaDe My DaY... =)]

.::CuTe GuY::.

hiyaz diary...

went to relative's house today to celebrate her grand-daughter's one month old... lolz... she ordered buffet catering so eat lo... oh yeahz, bought a billabong bag at north point shopping centre... liked it a lot cause big~ can everything throw inside... haha no more worries abt a small and fat bag on pe days~ whee... =)

then went to meet chingz darling at suntec... wanted to go nydc at first de but like saturday sure a lot ppl then we cannot sit long long so went to this o'briens sandwich bar at millenia bar to have a drink first... then chat chat chat... then 8 the shop close le... -_- okiez la maybe because located at millenia walk so the shops close earlier... so we went back to suntec... wanted to eat subway de at first but then turned out we decided to eat pizza hut... haha pizza hut was nice as usual... but wad is even nicer abt the dining experience there this time is that i saw this cute guy working there... haha... dunno lehz... he's not handsome or wad but there's juz something about him that makes me cant stop looking at him? wahaha... i noe chingz darling is going to luff when she read this cause she keep teasing me after dinner... lolz... but yeahz... the guy is juz eye candy nia... haha... the one i like is still in my heart... lolz...

juz now he finally talked to me on msn le after so many days... thot he's still irritated at me over wad happened on wed... okiez la... actually that day itself it's already obvious he not angry le but i juz feel bad ba~ so is plus he nv talk to me for the last few days so i juz scare myself into thinking he is still pissed? bo liaoz la me... kinda long nv see him also le... felt a kind of longing ba... is like after he said bye to me on msn and left... i m bombarded by this whole series of emotions and feelings for him... sounds weird huh... i dunno how to express it properly also... but suddenly juz wanna see him and hug him tightly... but... it's so impossible~ feelings are weird!

spent the last 4 days from wed with chingz... had a damn lot of fun and seeing her and spending time with her always puts me in a good mood... i guess that's because she's still my bestest bestest (though there's no such word, hehe) fren ba~ and how can spending time with someone u love that much be unhappy? lolz... i m not les! love for a fren, for her! my chingz darling... =P

okiez... enough of fei hua and time to sleep~ nitey...

[I dUn WaN tO bE rEmInDeD oF tHe GoOd ThInGs AbOuT u... It JuZ mAkEs It HaRdEr FoR mE tO LeAvE tHe pIcTuRe...]

.::WhItE nOiSe::.

hiyaz diary...

today woke up at 10 plus... then went online awhile... then went back to sleep for one more hour... then slacked somemore then prepared to go tm meet chingz darlinG~

met her le... then went to subway eat... haha still as nice as ever~ maybe because i like bread ba... =) then went to yoshi study... chose yoshi cause of the mango tea!!! then 6 plus went to take photos with chingz~ hehe... then watched movie~ white noise... nicer than hide and seek! had cup corn and nachos... then went home le...

now dunno wad to do... cause kinda bored but dunno do wad la... in the slacking mood... but... noe i cant waste time le... march block test coming soon! must try to do well for it...

haiz enough of crapping... go le... nitey...

[I jUsT wAnNa SeE u? I kNoW iT nEvEr WaS aNd NeVeR wiLL bE...]

.::I m SoRrY::.

hiyaz diary...

agar agar update abt this week ba... very tired now so this entry wun be very long...

tuesday lao yu sheng with the class... quite fun but juz for that one minute...

then wednesday half day at school... then after school went home... then meet up with some classmates again to eat lunch... alot things happened but i dun really wanna blog abt it... juz wanna say sorry to all and i noe it's my fault... then chingz darling came to meet me also~ after that the big group of us went to watch movie... watched hide and seek... nice show... got a very twisted ending... i like~ most important is the company also! haha thanks chingz for watching the show with me... =)

today thurs... went chinatown early morning to eat dim sum with my parents, grandparents and auntie... then i walked around chinatown alone for abt one hour plus... then i reached tampines at 12 plus when actually i m meeting joyce and chingz dear at 2 pm and 430 pm respectively... lolz... so i walked around tampines alone also finding ways to entertain myself... damn bored... then went to burger king myself at ard 1 plus to study while waiting for them... then they some le lo... so all of us studied till 630 lidat... then went to eat pastamania... bleahz... then go home le...

then tml friday le! yay~ going to study again with chingz dear dear... =) then sat mal having a birthday party for her sister and she invited the class... but that one still not confirmed going yet anotz... hopefully, i can keep myself busy on sat even if i m not going to the party... cause i dun wan to spend it alone and bored... so ya...

haiz...

geez... till now i still feel bad for the thing that happened on wednesday... it's all my fault... and he did something which kinda hurt me... maybe that's the main reason y i m so bothered by that incident in the first place... sighz... y m i bothering so much!!! argh... i brought this upon myself...

[ThE rEaSoN iS sImPLe... BeCaUsE i CaRe AbOuT u...]

.::I m ShIt::.

hiyaz diary...

here i m again... nowadays i like only blog once a week... haha... well... this week nothing much ba... but can say pass very fast... like monday juz come but today already friday le!!! then well... let me see wad's there to update...

well... thursday went out with some guys and joyce to bedok... went to eat handmade noodles at some coffee shop... quite ok ba... then we had a fun time crapping... then went to comic shop with the guys to get present for monkey... then so qiao i saw chingz dear dear at the comic shop!!! haha the funny thing is i was still messaging her earlier on about asking her to meet and she still said she can't make it cause next day got test... but since bedok so big we also can see each other means it's fated we must meet ba... so me her and joyce went to bedok's mac to "study"... but it became more of a gossiping session... =P had an enjoyable time with her... thanks dear! then ard 8, 3 of us went prima deli to buy a cake for monkey... saw this fantastic looking oreo chocolate cake... so bought that... then went home le ba...

okiez then update abt today... brought the cake to sch and all that... then gave it to the teacher to keep... then lessons and stuff... -_- after that we celebrated monkey's birthday... the guys whacked him... quite fun to see... lolz... then had the cake... it's nice~ =) there are actually oreo crumbs and they are big~ yummy... but i will still like to try the mint cake i saw at angie's the choice... lolz... but impossible ah... cause nobody in my family likes mint so i doubt we will have that cake for a birthday celebration within my family... sighz~ mint rocks my world! =)

then now smth abt how i feel abt today... today like all fridays played bball with the class and my CT... haiz... think i very kns worz... the guys passed me the ball to shoot quite alot of times but i cant even get one in... =( somemore the worse thing is they themselves are open to shoot but yet they made the effort to pass to me... but i failed to get it in and the opponent team gets the rebound... i feel damn bad... haiz... feel i m a burden to them and i m so useless... i know it's juz a game and i shouldn't think too much about it... but i juz feel like shit everytime i finished playing... haiz... maybe i shouldn't play anymore ba... but i liked playing with them so much... =(

okiez... enough of unhappy things... shall talk abt happy things... so looking forward to next week manz!!! cause tuesday going to lao yu sheng in class with my classmates... hopefully will be fun... then wednesday half day till 9.30 pm... wootz~ so my class planned to go out and have a meal together and maybe see can do wad together ba... then thurs fri no sch~ yes!!! whee~ slack... but after that have to work hard for the march block test le... gambate!

time to go! bubbye~

[WhEn WiLL i GeT oVeR yOu? DuN bE sO nIcE tO mE cAn...]

.::ChInEsE nEw YeAr!!!::.

hiyaz diary...

as can see... is chinese new year! no time to updatte about these 2 days until now... so i shall now talk abt the first day first... ^_^

woke up at 10 plus... then prepare prepare... then go out le... went to soka centre first then go grandma's house... then played blackjack and watched tv and eat~ then went back sis's house... took a nap... woke up at 7 pm... then we go tampines long john eat and after that watch movie... watched seoul raiders... not bad ba... kinda funny... lolz... i laughed quite loudly at some parts... oops~ but cause we were at the last row, it didnt really matter... ^_^ then went home le... slack slack... watched tv... 2 then sleep...

then today even more fun~ morning went to sengkang with 8 classmates to eat burger king breakfast... then went to hougang... then slacked and talk... then after that went to hougang mall's magic wok to eat cause it's like one of the few eating places open... had a great time... then we walked to hougang plaza to play pool~ fun! then after that they came my house... played xbox, mahjong and my dog... lolz... until 9 then they left my house... oh my god, realised we actually spent the whole day together from morning 9 till night 9... haha... actually planned to go chingz's house at night de... but can't make it in time... sorry chingz for making an empty date with u!

tml got sch le... sighz... although i dun feel like going, but i promised mal i will go... so ya... then after school most prob going chingz's house then to my sis's house for new year party~ yeahz! ^_^ hopefully i will have fun tml ba~

dunno y this year's new year like spent very differently... haha... normally first day of new year i will juz go visiting then go home le... but this year still get to watch a movie... then second day also... normally is wait at home for my relatives to come... but this year, spent the whole new year day with my classmates... haha... unexpected ba... but i had so much fun today~ haha...

well... should go le~ shall update more in the future~ bubbye~

[HoW i WiShEd YoU wErE hErE wItH uS tOdAy... U r My PiLLaR oF sTrEnGtH...]

.::NeW pHoNe::.

hiyaz diary...

here is friday again~ cheers to the weekend... ^_^ next week chinese new year le... time flies! =)

bought a new phone on wednesday with my sister and brother in law... we went to orchard's starhub and singtel to get the nokia 7260... my sis got the same phone also... kinda sianz of the n gage le... so it's a nice change... ^_^ then after buying phone nth much ba... went pizza hut eat dinner... so long never eat pizza! yummy~ hawaiian~ then brother that day also changed new car... now 7 seater... so he on the way drove me home... love the new leather smell... lolz... ^_^

okiez... this week went by without much interesting things happening... today afternoon play bball again with my CT and the class... but today i very sianz during the game dunno y, so i juz played awhile then go to the side and sit down... after that drinks break... our CT treated us to drinks and we rest lo... then after that 6 of us were sitting down... including our CT... then the other 8 playing bball... so we 6 decided to play vball at the other court... lolz... wad fun we had! then after that some of those playing bball also came over to join us... so we play vball for quite some time... very fun~ ^_^ then we went back to play bball again... but by this time only left 10 of us... so we juz played half court lo... but this game is so much more fun than juz now earlier that game... played very long... haha... then left at 5 plus...

now had dinner le... slacking... ^_^

sometimes really dunno to be happy or sad over him worz... things between us seemed to be even better than they were last time... but somehow somewhere, something is juz lacking... i also dunno wad i want from him? okiez, honestly, i really nv expect things will be what they are like today... i thot after telling him how i feel about him, it will definitely affect our friendship and stuff... and worse, he will start to avoid me... but nope... all these nv happen... instead, we got even closer... but still i noe we are impossible... cause we nv brought up that topic again ever since the day i told him... so yeahz... should i be sad that we are juz friends? or should i be happy enough that this friendship still exists? actually, occasionally, i do feel angry at him also... cause is like he pretended that thing had never happened between us... and it's kinda frustrating that i can't get an answer? even if it's a negative answer... but then again, if he really put it across clearly, i will be sad like hell... yikez~ i dun even noe wad i want from him anymore... think should choose to be happy ba... make life easier for myself and frens around me? haiz... yep... okiez... bunch of crap... go le go le~ bubbye~

[ThE hApPy MoMeNtS wE sHaReD aRe uSuaLLy FoLLoWeD bY hEaRtBrEaKiNg MeMoRiEs...]

.::ChInAtOwN::.

hiyaz diary...

today morning went to orchard with sis and my parents... we went to taka's sushi tei eat breakfast/lunch... then brother and my niece came to join us... had a very full meal... then went shopping cause wanted to buy new year clothes for my niece... went to paraon's metro... my niece is so cute! cause throughout the trip, she held on onto my hand... and tell me she very long nv see me le and that she misses me... dunno la, she's juz cute... =P then went to starbucks for a drink...

after that all of went to the supermarket at tekka shopping centre to get new year goodies and drinks... bought a full trolley of food... ^_^ gonna feed everybody who come to my house until they fat fat~ =P

then me and my parents went chinatown... bought new year sweets and kueh bahlu... then along the way, i ate bread and the sweet popiah... drank herbal tea... by that time ah, i already full like dunno wad le... then we went walk walk lo... squeeze here and there~ then mummy bought 2 cds for me... long time nv buy cds le... ^_^ then my legs aching... so we went home le...

then my house here de LRT start service le... so took LRT home... kinda faster than bus... then my parents went punggol plaza to eat dinner and i went home bathe... so now blogging... haiz, gotta go do maths homework le... if not tml kanna chased out of classroom by teacher... = go le~ bubbye!

[CaN u DuN pReTeNd As If NoThInG hAd HaPpeNeD? MayBe I shOuLdN't giVe U PrEsSuRe BuT u DuNNo HoW iT fEeLs...]

.::SuKi SuShI::.

hiyaz diary...

today had a fun but tired day~ went to sch in the morning lo... missed the damn bus so had to waste money take cab go sch... sighz! then sch was so boring and long today! i can't wait for the last period to come but the time like inched forward slowly... haiz! then finally the day over... yay~ ^_^

went to suki sushi at parkway with half of my classmates... sat a cab there cause there were 11 of us so we took 3 cabs... went to eat the lunch buffet~ very nice as usual~ ^_^ we ate like so many gyoza cause we were sitting together with benson... and he loves gyozas! then had quite some stuff and alot of lime juice! lolz... by the time we left, i really felt like puking with every step i walk... haha... ya it was that full! then somemore when we are all full and there are still some leftovers, we played zhong ji mi ma... the one who lose have to choose one type of food and eat it... haha so we finished our leftovers! joyce very sway, tio 3 times! ^_^ then we walked to a playground... play around and do stupid things for a while there... then me and joyce were trying hard to cross over each other on a round balance bar... damn difficult! took us half hour at least to succeed... haa... but fun! then after that i tired le... the guys were sitting down and talking mahz... so i juz sat down and closed my eyes a bit~ ^_^ then 7pm lidat we slowly walk to bus stop lo... i took 31 with the guys... planned to alight at bedok mrt but in the end we sat all the way to tampines interchange cause we all found seats and were sleeping... then reached tampines interchange le only left me bing han and kev... then bing han took bus home so me and kev went to take mrt to pasir ris... long walk from tampines interchange to the tampines mrt station cause i very tired ba... haha so is like long walk for me! then me and kev went our separate ways at pasir ris mrt ba... reached home... a bit mabok so here i m blogging now to relax a bit! ^_^

this year my class like united a lot le compared to last year like shit... haha... now we often go out and do stuff together... last time is like we nv even went out together for even once... pathetic manz! take one year to bond together! think maybe the chalet last dec hols bonded us together ba... haa... hope it continues this way for the rest of the year... ^_^

this week got long weekend! yay~ but tml working... for once i feel like going for work! hehe... but need to complete homework today as much as possible ba... if not weekend not free no time do~ happy mood now... the best arrangement had been given to me between me and him... wad more can i ask for? ^_^

okiez, enough of crapping le... go do work! =) nitey~

[ReALiSeD LoVe Is NoT a BeD oF rOsEs AfTeRaLL, FrIeNdShIp LaStS, LoVe UsUaLLy DoN't... sO wE aRe StiLL bEttEr OfF aS fRiEnDs =)]

.::BaSkEtBaLL gAmE::.

hiyaz diary...

a few days nv blog le... well... sch everyday mahz, wad is there to update? =S yesterday went to TM with jgys, yz, monkey, and bh... went to mac with them and see them eat cause i meeting chingz in the evening mahz... then at the mac, there's this woman sitting same table as us and in front of me... then suddenly she had fits and collapsed right in front of me... oh my god! totally stunned... watch her and stone... i wanted to call ambulance but dunno y forgot ambulance what number to call... *!!!* guess i was shocked ba... lolz... now to think of it, how can i forget the number to call for an ambulance!!! stupid me... but anyway, ya other people made the call anyway... after that they juz continue eating lo then the guys went home... left yz and me wait for chingz...

we went mrt station meet her... then go study at burger king... sat there from 4 till 7 plus ba... we gossiped a bit, studied a bit and of coz slack also... lolz... then we went to long john's to eat our dinner... nice~ ^_^ then 8 plus went home le... then go home online, watch tv, slack! then studied somemore for chem test...

then today sch is kinda slack... 1230 release le~ then our CT asked the class to play bball together after sch... so we played from 2 till 3 plus then juz sit down together talk rubbish with the CT until 5... hehe... our civics tutor very good, still treat everyone of us to a bottle of 100 plus... game was quite funny ba... cause our CT same team as me and jenny... then he keep suaning jenny... laughed until we stomachache... then if the other team snatch our ball, he will tell the other team say i deduct 5 marks from ur test and put your conduct grade poor... lolz! he's quite cool ba~ =)

then went home... bathing that time realised i got sunburned... yikez! now i got red neck, cheeks and eyelids... dotz! think very long nv been in the sun le then suddenly today 3 hours plus in the sun so got burned! stupid skin of mine~ weekend again le... working tml... haiz! dun feel like working on weekend but then again, it's a source of extra money... so guess have to drag myself to work?

oh ya then wednesday went to TM with joyce to buy joanne's birthday present... then since we got the present quite fast, after that me and joyce went to watch movie... watched kung fu hustle... the show so so ba... it's funny at times but is a kind of lame funny... but then i didnt really think it was that nice a show... so ya... well! nvm... feb like got a lot of new and nice movies coming out~ can't wait to watch! =)

okiez, enough of crapping le! shall go eat dinner now... bubbye~

[DuNnO hOw To ThAnK u EnOuGh FoR eVeRyThInG... sO gLaD wE aRe StiLL fRiEnDs aFtEr EvErYtHiNg ThAt HaD hApPeNEd...]

.::DiM sUm::.

hiyaz diary...

today morning woke up and went for dim sum with my family... my parents and my 2 siblings... went to yan palace... not too bad i guess... i ate alot of egg tarts as they r my favourite in hong kong dim sum... but, had a stomachache after that... >_< and i beared with it until 3 plus cause i was at some stupid ceremony after dim sum and it's not nice to go to the toilet while everybody is sitting... sighz...

oh well, school had reopened for one week le i guess... had a relatively bad week cause i was almost late everyday and i had to sit cab to sch everyday and on some days, i still can't make it in time even by a cab... >_< lucky my CT nv comment much...

well... again, i had a lot of thoughts to blog when i started blogging juz now... but now, i dun feel like typing anything... >_<>

[FrEnS iS jUz A nIcEr WoRd FoR 2 pEoPLe WhO cAn'T bE iN LoVe AnD wOuLd U pLeAsE gIvE mE bAcK ThE cOuRaGe ThAt I NeEd To LiVe?]

.::HaPPy NeW yEaR::.

hiyaz diary...

abit late in wishing happy new year but then the past few days were lazy to update... hehe... so anyway, spent the past few days shopping like crazy... bought numerous things... and all my pay is gone again... sighz... but happy~ =)

anyway... already 2005 le... haiz... long road ahead! nobody knows wad will happen for the months to come ba... hopefully, everybody will still be fine, healthy and happy! well... got alot of things to say but now that i m actually blogging, i dunno how to start... think i shall juz leave it at here ba...

go le... bubbye~

[DuN bE sAd Le La...]

.::GrInZ::.

hiyaz diary...

here i m again... though nothing much to blog... but since i m in a good mood, y not blog... haha...

today work again... but before work... went to citylink to get yanzhu and chingz's xmas presents... got a shirt for yanzhu and a cup for chingz~ then went to pacific coffee company to write letters for the 2 of them lo...

then met dine and joyce to go to hotel... changed and had our dinner there... then gave those 2 their presents... hope they like it ba... very scared they dun like then throw aside... >_<>

meeting chingz tml noon for coffee... looking forward to it ba~ can sit down and slack... ^_^ shall go and watch tv now le~ bubbye!

[StiLL wAnnA sAy ThAnKs FoR aLLoWiNg Me To HaVe A bIt Of DiGnItY LeFt... ^_^]

.::GooD dAy::.

hiyaz diary...

today had a good day ba~ met chingz at bugis to pei her buy shoes... then mindy came along... then we went to eat gelato ice cream... nice sia~ then went arcade play with them... had alot of fun~

then went to city hall meet dine and joyce... pei dine looked for a bag... then we went work... then today juz nice all of us working together at the same ballroom so yeahz... then had dinner at the staff canteen before going to work... today's food is nice... or at least i think so~ haha... then went to work lo... today the manager good mood... so wasn't too bad ba...

then me got 2 tables... but heng one table nv turn up at all... then in the end i left with one table... then when i served 2nd course, the captain told me to be drinks server... so drinks server i m! quite an easy job but hands will ache from holding the jug... lolz... then today time passed very fast... by 1030 dinner already ended le~ and it felt like "i thot dinner juz started?" haha... then i juz helped to clear table and the side station... then can go home le~ yay... happy, fast and good day at work... lolz... was in a good mood today ba... whole dinner smiling at the guests... -_- sounds crazy over here but yeahz...

well... hopefully from now on, i can stop thinking abt rubbish things and juz concentrate on my studies~ ^_^ now, i felt so relieved that finally everything is out ba... i dunno how to make ppl understand my feelings but i guess it's alright... actually, it may be signifying an end to everything and a new start for me~ finally~ haha... juz realised i wrote crap... ah nvm~ juz hope someone will be able to understand... ^_^

go le~ bubbye~

[HmMm... I kNoW u R bEiNg NiCe In A rEsPoNsIbLe WaY... ^_^ wHiCh JuZ mAdE mE LoVeS u MoRe~]

.::I dId It!!!::.

hiyaz diary...

today woken up by the phone... yuan lai my sis took leave today... so she asked me out for lunch... then i bathe lo... then weile ask me zap some worksheets for him, johnson and kevin... so i went to the shopping centre opposite my house to zap for them... but the machine like spoil... only zap half page de... lolz... so no choice... i go my old house boon keng there to zap... cost me $12 and also 15 mins of my time... lolz~ then went to bus stop meet my sis... then we took bus to millenia walk... then we chatted on the bus... i love my sis to bits! then we went sushi tei at millenia walk to eat... the sushi there is nice... the sticky rice tastes nicer... =)

then sis and me walked to suntec... went shopping... we went to fila... then saw this jacket nice and bought it~ happy! but means my pay gone also~ lolz... then we continue walk walk lo... then met kev at G2000 pass him notes... then said bye to my sis and went to the cinema to look for johnson and weile... we bought tickets... watched ocean's 12... like shit... dunno wad it is talking about throughout the show... dunno is because i nv watched ocean's 11 or because i dunno how to appreciate... after the movie, we 3 juz stared at the screen and laugh... haha... then i realise those 2 guys dun understand the show also... lolz... then we went arcade to play... ^_^

then we met benson and we went cartel for dinner... then we talk rubbish and ate our dinner~ then until 9 lidat lo... then johnson left to meet his frens... benson and weile went to the sports shops at suntec to see see~ then went to the koi garden to feed the kois... then walked to citylink with them...

then i went off to meet my les partner chingz at pacific coffee company... =) really les with her le lolz... one day never see also cannot... so late le but we still arranged to meet... then sat there until 1040... hehe... and the sweet darling bought me this precious moments calendar that's so beautiful! i loved it! thanks chingz!

and at the coffee joint, i suddenly decided i wanted to tell him how i feel about him... and i finally told him ba... was scared and whiny about it at first~ but chingz gave me support and encouragement lo... haha... so relieved when i finally told him... ^_^ then my phone of all times had to go low batt at this time! haha... stupid sia... but anyway, it's late le... so went home lo... then charged my phone and on it back... and he replied me! hehe... he made me a happy and relieved gal~ now feel like big rock gone from my heart~ finally can get a good sleep tonight ba... ^_^

then watched tv... and now chatting with chingz dine mindy and johnson as well as blogging... think shall go le... tml still got work and meeting chingz at bugis to look for shoes before work~ =) oh ya... bought a bag with chingz on sunday... was damn happy about it... cause looking for a bag for quite some time le ba... haha... go le~ nitey~

[ThAnKs ThAnKs ThAnKs! I dUnNo HoW i CaN tHaNk U eNoUgH!!! =)]

.::BiG bIg WoRLd::.

I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
miss you much...

I can see the first leaf falling
it's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
like the way I'm feeling inside

I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
miss you much...

Outside it's now raining
and tears are falling from my eyes
why did it have to happen
why did it all have to end

I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
miss you much...

I have your arms around me ooooh like fire
but when I open my eyes
you're gone...

I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
miss you much...

I'm a big big girl
in a big big world
It's not a big big thing if you leave me
but I do do feel that
I too too will miss you much
miss you much...

[I mUsT LeArN tO bE bRaVe FoR yOu... CaUsE u GaVe Me ThE sTrEnGtH tO cArRy On...]

.::SuIcIdAL::.

hiyaz diary...

ever since the chalet, i have been having this attitude problem with everyone and even myself... haiz... i do not really about care about people's feelings anymore... i dun care if i m being mean or whatever... i juz wanna be bad and mean and alone... sighz... i dun wan to be lidat... i dun wan... but i can't help it...

after the chalet, i m supposed to work... i dunno wad i m thinking but i keep screwing up the whole night... people talk to me i m stoning and dun even noe they are talking to me... i poured the wrong drinks into the wrong glasses... everytime somebody talks, i keep thinking it's him... and then i will realise it's not him talking... argh~ i almost went crazy that day... everyone i see, i feel like they looks like him... oh god...

monday supposed to work also but i noe i didnt really have the mood so i juz found a replacement... and stoned at home... my heart was aching... i dunno how is that possible but it really hurts... cried for an hour in the shower... then began having suicidal thoughts... thinking of how good it would be if i can juz cut myself and let the pain in my heart subside... juz focus on the pain on my hand... but, i know it's wrong... i m already a lucky and blessed enough girl and i dun need those crap to make myself feel better... sighz...

shan't say much le ba... bubbye...

[I cAn'T bLaMe U fOr NoT bEiNg AbLe To FoRgEt HeR JuZ LiKe U cAn'T bLaMe Me FoR nOt BeInG aBLe To GeT oVeR yOu...]

.::CLaSs ChALeT::.

hiyaz diary...

went for the class chalet at costa sands east coast... the normal 3 days 2 nights lo...

first day... met up with weile at kovan ba... then went to his house to get the things he had bought... then we took cab to parkway to meet the rest... then we went to giant supermarket to buy the remaining stuff we haven bought... then bought pacific coffee company ice blended mocha... it's nice but starbucks still win~ lolz... since we got 8 ppl and so many things to carry, we juz took 2 cabs in to east coast park... then checked in... then slack in the room... playing ps2 and mahjong... then after that had barbeque... some of our teachers came also... then chatting together lo... after that 11 plus rained... so we went back to chalet le... again played mahjong and ps2... went to the beach and play water though it's kinda dark... then 1 plus we went out cycling... weile attempted to teach me how to cycle but in the end failed... lolz... i m a dumb student la cannot blame... =P first night nv do much also...

then morning came... 6 plus... all of us tired le... so we squeeze here and there on the bed to find a position to sleep... then again played mahjong and ps2 lo... and we wasted our whole morning and half the afternoon by staying inside the chalet playing mahjong and ps2... then 3 plus... decided to get out and do something else... lolz... dine and me were playing at the pond and dine caught a turtle... then all of us walked to tao nan school there de basketball courts to play basketball together... then right opposite the courts is marine parade library... went to the starbucks there to get my mocha frap~ heavenly! =) then dine and me saw a fitness corner not far from the bball courts and we went over to play... there's this horizontal bar and we juz flipped over it continuously and hanged there upside down for quite some time... used to do that in primary school alot... ^_^ now got chance to do it again, so i had a lot of fun with dine... then kev, johnson and weile came over to join us at the fitness corner... we taught johnson how to flip... lolz... after that we walked back to the chalet to bathe... by that time about 7 plus le... then bathe and we went out to have our dinner... but due to delays and the long walk, we only reached the eating place at about 9 plus... lolz... dunno is supper or dinner... we went to this east coast lagoon food centre which is near the bedok jetty and at the far end of east coast park to eat... it is very big there and the food there is quite nice... even the surroundings are nice... ^_^ had alot of food... satay, wanton mee, stingray, fried rice, beef horfun, hokkien prawn noodles, char kway teow... we juz shared here and there lo... finished eating at about close to 11 o clock and i drank so much sugarcane juice that i feel bloated all the way while walking back to the chalet... the walk back was quite nice... we juz walked past the quiet quiet places and talking about the movie shutter... lolz... went back chalet... guess what... we played ps2 and mahjong again... haha... then 2 plus... some of us lied down on the bed le... the second night only left 8 of us and there are 4 beds so everybody gets to have a place to sleep!!!

then we already switched off the lights le... then suddenly kevin decided that he doesn't want to sleep and began laming around... he became cranky and all of us except johnson and kang wei also got influenced by him and nv sleep... juz talk and do lame things... we keep trying not to let kang wei and johnson sleep but then ultimately, we gave up... lolz... we let them sleep... and kevin is still laming after an hour when on the first night, he's the one who's the first to go to bed... finally 4 plus, he became tired also and went to sleep which means the rest of us can sleep also... haha... then stupid yanzhu slept beside me and he kept kicking me... argh~ then dunno wad time i wake up after he kicked me again and i pek cek until cannot get back to sleep... lolz... then kev woke up also... then we heard yanzhu making weird sound... lolz... realised yanzhu grinds his teeth when he is sleeping... kevin still thot aircon spoilt and that's why got weird sound... haha... then we 2 went back to sleep again... keep on drifting in and out of sleep... woke up at 10 in the morning... then kev asked me if he did woke up and find me awake and hearing yz making that sound or izzit just a dream... haha... guess when u sleep, u forget wad happened sometimes... by right we supposed to check out by 1030... but then all of us lazy... though woke up and brush teeth le, we still sit on the bed and all talk together... some of us went back to sleep again... lolz... then 1130 lidat the cleaning auntie came to our room to clean up so we no choice but to leave lo...

and me and dine shared a cab home... so that's how the chalet went... it was not very fun i shall say as we didnt really do alot of things... but then it's a form of relaxation ba... can juz be without worries even though it's juz for a few days... yep... go le~ bubbye...

[WhAt ShaLL i Do? I m FaLLiNg In DeEpEr EaCh DaY... tHe mOrE i SeE u, ThE mOrE i M aWaRe Of ThE dIsTaNcE bEtWeEn Us... WhY m I fEeLiNg ThE pAiN nOw?]

.::WoRk::.

hiyaz diary...

long time never blog le cause busy working... hardly even have enough time to sleep much less blog... hehe... so working at marina mandarin now with benson, dine, joyce, yanzhu and chingz! haha... out of the previous hotels i worked before, i like this hotel the best! it's much easier here and the colleagues, captains and managers here are so much much more friendly than the previous hotels... i have learned a lot of things here... hehe... and i look forward to working everyday... lolz... like a bit psychotic la... looks forward to working... but got $$$ i wouldn't mind! =)

then this hotel got a pool garden where they actually hold functions sometimes... i worked there once and it's such a nice place!!! windy and nice night view! can see suntec city and conrad in a different perspective... =) i m a happy gal now... ^_^ this year is going to over soon le... hopefully next year will be a fruitful one! =)

go watch tv le... bubbye~

[DoN't YoU rEaLiSe YoUr HaPpInEsS iS wHaT mAtTeRs To Me NoW? caLL mE sTuPId BuT tHaT's HoW mUcH yOu MeAnT tO mE...]

.::HaPPy BiRtHdAy To Me::.

hiyaz diary...

today's such a happy day!!! well... morning woke up by messages... and wanna thanks those who messaged me especially those who messaged me at 12am... lolz... thanks chingz and joyce most importantly! =) okiez...

so was like meeting dine and joyce at plaza sing at 1230 de... then who noes 1130 joyce called me... said smth like : u ready yet? can u come down? i m at ur house downstairs... then i was like huh? wad? haha can't believe my ears... so went down... then the sweet darling bought me this oreo cheesecake from starbucks and specially brought it to my house for me... then she gave me my present and then we set off for orchard to meet dine... reached ps on time... then met dine... went shopping... then she got her things quite fast... so we had quite some time to spare... so we went cine to watch movie... bridget jones diary... it was a sweet and romantic show la... =) okiez... then we took train to tampines lo... cause jenny told me to go tampines small mac wait for her at 6 pm to have dinner with her...

then pei joyce go food court buy dinner for her mom... and those 2 girls then said they have to go le and said bye to me... and then i went to small mac wait lo... haha... and then i saw johnson walking very fast past me... dun think he saw me so i called him la... then he turned... asked him where he going he said mrt... then i asked... oh for wad? then he stupidly tell me oh meet kevin at mrt then meet jenny then meet u lo... lolz... and i realise they r in this together... lolz... but he say i m not supposed to noe so he juz went to the mrt while i continue to wait for jenny... haha then jenny came and i told him i saw johnson le and he told me everything le... jenny then gave me a present she and joanne bought for me... a bracelet from perlini's silver... i like it... at this point of time, i still thot is only me jenny johnson and kevin only... who knows... jenny bring me to tm's fish and co... then say table for 10... oh my god! 10!??? then jenny still refused to tell me got who else... and then the other 8 including kevin and johnson finally came... and joyce and dine was with them also~ -_- haha tio stunned... those 2 girls r such good actresses! kept it from me the whole noon when they knew it all along! oh manz... i was so surprised... haha... there were kevin, johnson,weile, benson, yanzhu, kang wei, joyce and geraldine... then one by one they wished me happy birthday... but too bad joyce and dine nv joined us for dinner la as they had to go home... so only the 6 guys, jenny and me! well... then eat lo... food not too bad la... =) then, the guys gave me a gift after the dinner... was a black tee... heard that they got it together juz b4 they came for dinner... haha... apparently, i was told the design was chosen by dine and joyce and the colour by all of them except weile who voted for brown... lolz appreciated it alot... ^_^ and then they took out a cake... and the cake was super funny... a orange chiffon cake... oh manz... then they put candles on it... then sang me birthday song... lolz... so embarrassed but happy of coz...

after that they asked me where to go... so i suggested go play pool lo... at first i dun intend to play de cause i dunno how to and i nv play before... but then in the end they tell me to anyhow hit also can so i just play lo... first game me and jenny played against kevin and johnson... haha... we almost won but they got the black ball in first... so tough luck there... then me and jenny played ourselves... then we played with weile and johnson... this time they won us hands down... haha... then me and jenny played ourselves again lolz... then 10 plus we left le... the guys told me and jenny dun need pay for the pool~ haha... so we accepted their offer... =P then we sit outside the pavilion stairs to talk talk~ ^_^ and we saw a girl sitting some bench in front of us with her back towards us... think her jeans is kinda low cut so we sorta saw her ermmm backside... =x er xin lo... lolz... we laughed like mad... then stupid weile keep teasing kevin... keep asking him to send me home cause it's late... and all the other guys like dunno y decided to follow weile and keep teasing the both of us... wished i had a hole to hide... oh manz... so in the end most of them took bus at the interchange while only me, yanzhu and kev took the MRT... yanzhu going to bedok so different train as us... bahz... and stupid yanzhu keep pushing me and kevin together -_- *aRgH* then on the train back to pasir ris, so embarrassed worz... dunno wad to say to kevin... especially after all the teasing... heng he started conversation for most of the time... there were short moments of silence which were so embarrassing!!! argh~ then we went our separate ways at pasir ris ba... then took cab home...

reached home le... my sister-in-law bought a cake for me and my family sang me a birthay song and cut cake lo... all in all, i had a memorable day ba... this is probably one of my happiest birthday for my 17 years le... cause seldom celebrate with so many people de... normally only my close friends... and also for the last few days i was still hoping to have a meal together with my classmates for my birthday and it really happened for me... i dunno how many thank yous i told my classmates especially to jenny and joyce... lolz... i m beoming naggy~ but i was so touched by the things they had done for me especially jenny for organising this thingy... so anyway... it's late now... think i better go prepare for sleep le~ tml first day of work le... hehe... hope i wun screw up... well, nitey~

[It'S jUsT LiKe A dReAm CoMe TrUe... A dReAm WhIcH cOnSiStS oF mE aNd YoU... HoW cAn I eVeR sAy It EnOuGh? My FeeLiNgS fOr U gReW wItH eAcH dAy... I LoVe YoU...]